dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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