Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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