I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
