lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
