so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize