Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
