My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
