it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
