3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
