I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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