Say something about gay babies.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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