i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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