More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
