Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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