You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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