I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Drunk walkin through police station. America
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize