I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
