he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
