Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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