making cat noises will not fix the situation.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
