Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
