you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
