I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
