She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
