The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
