so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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