What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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