you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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