it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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