i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
