omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
