just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
