Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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