my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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