So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
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Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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