So drunk its hurt
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
