i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
