All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize