so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
