Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
