you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Shame - the story of my life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
