You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize