i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
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I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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