Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
