i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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