i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize