Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
