You're my little dorito
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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