When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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