I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
