ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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