brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
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So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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