The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
