who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize