I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
