She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
