Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Your cock deserves a montage
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
