so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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