please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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