on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Did I show you my penis last night?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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