My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
