I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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