LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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