Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sext me about skeletons
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
