I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
