i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
