he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I die, sorry about rent.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
