Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
